This past Sunday I attended a birthday lunch for my dear friend Montgomery. Well wait…let me clarify… I attended what I THOUGHT was a birthday lunch for my friend.
Back in late October, she reached out asking her friends to mark their calendars for a birthday lunch at her house for December 2nd. I think her invite said something about December being busy and us needing to go on and mark our calendars. SO of course we did.
Fast forward to December 2nd, I pull up to her house, snag her birthday gift from my passenger seat and walk to her front porch.
As I go to knock on her front door, I notice a chalkboard sitting by the door. It reads, “Surprise! Welcome to the “You’re a Great Mom" Party!”.
Me and my full heart and teary eyes slowly open the door to see her kitchen full of other mama’s with full hearts and teary eyes, and a counter full of decoy birthday gifts.
We were all in shock. Truly. Shock. We all stood in her kitchen speechless and dumbfounded while chomping on chips and dip and wondering who would be the first to bust open the boxed wine we were eyeing on the counter.
Her dining room and kitchen table were decorated beautifully with place settings of her grandmother’s Christmas china, personalized drawings/notes from our children, pictures of us and our kiddos that she had pulled from our Instagram accounts, a handwritten note from her telling us each how awesome we are, and a personalized Christmas ornament with pictures of our family in them sitting as place cards. She had gotten lunch catered (Thanks Milk and Honey!)
and had a beautiful plaid tiered Christmas cake baked, OH and a margarita bar with some REALLY good margs.
She proceeded to explain to us that over the last few months she has had numerous conversations with her mama friends about how tough being a mama is right now. How we all feel like we are falling a bit short. She wanted to provide an opportunity for all of us to be told by the people we need to hear it from the most, that we are doing a great job.
So, months ago she reached out to each of our husbands asking them to record videos of our kids answering a few questions about us. Before we sat down for lunch, we sat down on her den floor and watched an almost 20 minute video montage she had put together of all our kids telling each of their mamas how much they loved them by answering a series of questions.
Have I mentioned that the months of October and November are the busiest time of year for Montgomery (she is an incredible photographer so duh- Christmas card pics) and that the fact that she pulled this off in the busiest time of year with 3 small children is incredible in itself. #SuperMom #SuperFriend
As I sat in her floor watching that video, I sat in awe as I dried my happy tears with the cute little “Merry Christmas to Y’all and to Y’all a Good Night” Beverage Napkins I found on the kitchen counter.
I was in awe because there were probably 20 kids on this video, and their answers were SO similar when the question was asked: How do you know your mom loves you?
It was always something like “Because she tells me she loves me.” “Because she kisses me.” “Because she hugs me.” “Because she reads books to me.” “Because she draws with me.” “Because she snuggles me.”
IT WAS THE SIMPLE THINGS.
The simplest of simple.
That is how they know they are loved by their mamas.
They don’t think of the borderline screaming on a daily basis due to toys not being picked up. They don’t focus on the slightly exasperated tones on a nightly basis as they drag their feet and their bed time routine out.
They didn’t talk about how tired we are all the time or the annoying tone we use when asking them to brush their teeth for the 13th time.
They aren’t analyzing if their mama has put them in enough sports, or exposed them to enough creative things or if their Christmas presents are going to be exactly what they want or if they are going to be screwed up when they find out Santa isn’t real.
They talked about the “I love you’s.”
That is what they think of when they think of their mamas. That is why they think we are doing a great job...because we tell them we LOVE them and SHOW them we love them by the simplest of acts. The acts we breeze right through on a daily basis to get to the more important things we think they need.
So mama reading this….You. Are. Doing. A. Great. Job. Even if you don't ever get to go to a party that teaches you that, believe me, you are.
And if you don’t believe me….just go ask your kiddos.
OH --And, if you don’t have a friend like Montgomery, do yourself a favor and please go find one.