37 Things I Won't Accomplish in my 37th Year

Almost exactly a month ago, I turned 37. I started thinking of all of the things I’m not going to accomplish this year. You know… the things I "haven’t mastered in the last 36 years so probably not gonna happen this year either and it’s totally ok—I’m not a failure, I’m not a slacker, accomplishing these things does not determine my self worth in any way so why keep shaming myself. Also, there are no trophies if I do these ” kinda things. So basically, here is a list of 37 things I gave up on tackling this year and all future years: 1. THIS girl will not be washing her face every night. Not. Gonna Happen. Most nights…but definitely not every night. And guess what…its OK! Ill survive. In fact, I may even thrive. But either way, life will go on. Shoot…it’s even possible that I’ll still accomplish some dreams I have. Will I have more wrinkles, more breakouts as a result of not washing my face every night? Maybe. Not exactly sure and honestly, in the whole big scheme of things does it really matter? (Now brushing teeth…that's TOTALLY a nonnegotiable for me.)

2. I will not NOT stress about the wrinkles I may have caused myself when I wake up the following morning after not washing my face. Ha.

3. I will not keep my car clean. Nope. I will instead get it clean enough when it needs to be, or when I'm taking someone or picking someone up from the airport. I will also just continue to act like the teachers working at my son’s elementary school car drop off can’t see straight into my car and do not talk about me at faculty meetings.

4. I will not tackle everything on my TO DO list for the day. Literally for 365 days there will always be something left on my list. In fact, if I'm being honest there will be more things on my list at the end of the day than when my day actually started and it’s ALL GOOD.

5. I will not write down To-Do Lists.

6. I will not return texts in a timely manner…that is if I actually return them at all. This also goes for responding to personal emails, Facebook messages, Facebook comments, Instagram messages, instagram comments and #IDontUseTwitter.

7. I will not NOT worry if people are mad that I forgot to return text, emails, messages and tweets. (Anybody else always think someone somewhere is mad at them? Ha)

8. I will probably not cook more for my family than I did last year. #UberEats #FriendsWhoAreChefs #PaneraDelivers

9. I will not successfully have a clean kitchen when I wake up each morning even though it wont be dirty from my cooking because see #8 on my list. But real talk, how does my kitchen get so dirty all the time?

10. I will not consistently write in the same journal when I journal but will instead have multiple journals lying around the house that I'm writing it at all times causing me to have a whole bunch of unfinished journals from the last couple of decades.

11. I will not be a consistent journal-er even if I really, really want to be.

12. I will not be able to make it more than 24 hours without laundry sitting in the washer 7 hours too long.

13. I will not consistently work out 3 times a week.

14. I will not NOT speed through bed time routines on nights I’m exhausted.

15. I will not remember someones name ever though I just asked them what their name is.

16. I will not remember when friends birthdays are but will look at Facebook instead to tell me.

17. I will not stay calm when my husband calls at dinner time to tell me all about his day while I have 2 kids asking for more snacks or dinner or snacks and dinner or candy or to watch Doc McStuffins while Im trying to conduct a phone call with the love of my life.

18. I will not always keep a straight face when a kid does something they are not supposed to do and I should be disciplining but instead I’m laughing and pulling out my phone to take a picture. #DoItForTheGram

19. I will not dress in anything other than stretchy pants unless I really really have a good reason no matter how much I want to look cute and put together and “not like a mom”.

20. I will not master not overpacking for trips.

21. I will not unpack suitcases in a timely manner.

22. I will not keep my kitchen drawers and my computer’s desktop neat and orderly. Yeah it’s a bummer but not gonna happen.

23. I will not buy a puppy for my son even though he asks every other day and it breaks my heart to say no even after he gets a Beta Fish and names him "Spike".

24. I will not lay in my bed each night and delete pictures I took that are blurry or not from a good angle, or an accidental shot or something off of my phone so that I don’t have 450K pics on my phone at all times.

25. I will not become a better speller or use grammer gooder ;)

26. I will not consistently remember that some things in life do in fact reside in a Gray area. Not black. Not white. Gray. And that's ok.

27. I will not NOT stress over really really dumb things that literally DO NOT MATTER but somehow make it into the forefront of my mind on days I'm tired, or lonely or overwhelmed or feeling insignificant or thinking that something out there can make me more valuable than I already am. (Reminder-there is NO THING out there that can add more value to you…you were as valuable as you will ever be on the day you were born and that has not changed! #Holla

28. #28-#37: I don’t actually have 37 things, but 37 things sounded better in the title so anyways...I will not be giving up cute sounding titles this year when I write blogs. Seriously though, you know what I WILL Do this year? I will keep on trying my best to live in the moment…and enjoy the little things…and realize that there are some things that I can control but most things I cant. I will sit and take a break more if I need one… and cut myself some slack when I need to. And pat myself on the back when I need to. And hug my kids and my husband for no reason. Ill remember that Im not perfect. That nobody is perfect. And that nobody is telling me I have to be perfect. I will also probably eat more cupcakes than I should and buy more dangly earrings than I should, but hey….I’ve done both of things for the last few decades so why stop now right? So very excited for this 37th year. XOXO Laney